Advice For a Loving and Healthy Relationship

In most cases the title of this article (I Kissed a Guy and I Think I Liked It, in case you weren't paying attention) applies to younger men. If you're in your forties or fifties chances are pretty good you've established your sexuality and are comfortable with it (not always of course and if you're an older men still exploring then we welcome you). Younger men are the ones that tend to struggle and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, you've joined a significant group of guys that aren't quite sure where they fall, sexually speaking.

Everyone, gay or straight, wants a loving and healthy relationships that fulfills them and makes their lives better. The ideal partner makes you a better person as you strive to meet their commitment to the relationship, their approach to life, and their love for you. It's not a simple thing to find though and it often requires work and a smart approach to relationships. Here are some tips to help you have a successful, loving, healthy gay relationship.

I've heard and read that successful couples need to have similar interests referring to hobbies, etc. I don't really think that's true though. What you really need is a similar life philosophy. Your basic belief systems have to be compatible (not necessarily the same) or you're going to run into constant problems and have endless fights. It's unavoidable. If you're a conservative and he's a liberal it's going to be really hard to make it work over the long haul, for example.

It's been said so often that it's darn near a clichÈ but there's strong truth in the idea that good communication is the key to a good relationship. It's sort of obvious, really. If you or your boyfriend is unable to say what you're feeling or explain why something upset you then the problem is never going to be resolved. If you're scared that you're going to get yelled at or be on the receiving end of the silent treatment when you voice a concern then you're never going to do so and problems are going to fester. You need to establish an environment of open communication where you can tell each other everything with minimal complications. Feelings are going to get hurt and you're going to fight, of course. The important thing is that you have a healthy way of resolving those issues so they don't fester.

Sexual compatibility is a big issue. Hetero couples pretty much know who the penetrator is and who will be penetrated. It's different with gay sex. Perhaps you're not even interested in anal sex and only want to stick to oral. Perhaps he really wants anal and wants you to top but you're not interested. These things are deal breakers so before you get too serious you need to be completely honest about your sexual desires. You can't go a lifetime compromising on what you really what in that realm. It will destroy the relationship.

It should go without saying but it's really difficult to have a healthy relationship if one of you is in the closet. It's also difficult if you're out of the closet but your friends and family aren't supportive. Unless you're going to abandon your family it's going to be a constant stress if they're mean to your boyfriend or cruel to you because you want to date men. You need to find a way to resolve that because those sorts of stresses are slow, silent killers of a relationship and they will tear it down.

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